This memorial website was created 
in the memory of our loved one,
Douglas Payne who was born in 
Bloomington ,Indiana on December 03, 1969 
and passed away on October 07, 2006 at the 
age of 36. We will remember him forever. 

 

TO MY MOTHER

 

 

 

 

I was your rebellious son,
do you remember? Sometimes
I wonder if you do remember,
so complete has your forgiveness been.


So complete has your forgiveness been
I wonder sometimes if it did not
precede my wrong, and I erred,
safe found, within your love,


prepared ahead of me, the way home,
or my bed at night, so that almost
I should forgive you, who perhaps
foresaw the worst that I might do,


and forgave before I could act,
causing me to smile now, looking back,
to see how paltry was my worst,
compared to your forgiveness of it


already given. And this, then,
is the vision of that Heaven of which
we have heard, where those who love
each other have forgiven each other,


where, for that, the leaves are green,
the light a music in the air,
and all is unentangled,
and all is undismayed.
                                               By Wendell Berry

Missed and

loved by Mom and Dad

family and friends.

Suicide prevention walk 2007.

 

 

My brother Doug died on October 7 ,2006 .This 
website is in memory of his life .I want to celebrate 
his life with you all. I have many memories of Doug,
he could always make us laugh even when we wanted 
to hit him. 
 
I can remember as kids walking to the barber shop for 
bottles of grape Nehi  to go along with our 
peanut butter and jelly sandwiches we were taking 
fishing with us. 
 
I can remember swinging on the vines in the woods, 
mud pies. 

I remember he and I and Jody a couple of our friends 
decided it would be fun to moon a passing car and 
unfortunately none of us were bright enough to watch 
who we were about to moon, it turned out to be our 
friends parents. 
 
I remember his excitement at Christmas one year 
he made my Dad a little man out of a carrot,
toothpicks for arms he was so proud of it. 
It did not look very good after a week under the tree
all wrapped up. 

I remember him doing his best impression of Mick Jagger . 

I remember him asking my mother what a penis was after 
hearing it on t.v. I don't know what was more amusing 
my Moms embarrassment or the fact that I knew that he 
knew what a penis was. 

I remember when I was about 12 a friend and I dressed 
Doug up as a girl make-up, curled his hair , dress , heels 
and jewelry. He only agreed to do it if we didn't make him 
go outside of course we did .He enjoyed every minute of it 
he stumbled all around the neighborhood. 

I remember him fighting with everyone in the 
neighborhood , he wouldn't hit the girls he had to wrestle
them He decided to wrestle my best friend
( I informed her I had to root for mybrother). They both 
started to grab eachother in inappropriate spots until they 
were laughing . I was so angry at both of them. 
 
His mouth was always too big for the rest of him but he of 
course had to learn to fight when your that small you get 
picked on by the little guy who has to prove he is tougher 
than you and you have to pick on the bigger guy so he 
doesn't think he can beat you either.I remember him fighting 
a 6' 4" guy who had said some things about me.
He told him to "take it back!" the guy didn't my brother took 
him down. 



I remember breaking up with a boyfriend and Doug helping 
this guy through it . 

I remember Doug playing with his friend Dwayne in the front 
yard digging holes with spoons, smashing hotwheels with 
hammers, burying army men. 

I remember staying up on Christmas Eve and watching
movies all night talking. Doug reminded me of one we 
always watched ,The Lemon Drop Kid .I tried last year to 
find it to send to you but couldn't find it. I found it a few 
days ago and I will watch it this year and I'll sing Silver Bells 
to you . I know you'll love my singing.

 I want others who visit here to please share their memories
 and your stories and pictures of Doug. 

   He concealed his tears but shared his smiles.
 

          Oh brother first to leave our band,
          Life's song as yet unsung.
          While gray hairs gather on our brows
          thou art forever young.

ANGEL
(J. Hendrix)


Angel came down from heaven yesterday
stayed with me long enough to rescue me
And she told me a story yesterday
about the sweet love between the moon and the deep blue sea
Then she spread her wings high over me
she said she’s goin' now, come back tomorrow
And I said, "Fly on my sweet angel, fly on through the sky
Fly on my sweet angel tomorrow I’m gonna be by your side"

Fly away, high away, fly away

Sure enough this morning came unto me
silver wings silhouetted against a child’s sunrise
And my angel she said unto me
Today’s the day for you to rise
Take my hand, you’re gonna be my man, you’re gonna rise
Then she took me high over yonder

And I said, "Fly on my sweet angel, fly on through the sky
Fly on my sweet angel forever I will be by your side"
And I said, "Fly on my sweet angel, fly on through the sky
Fly on my sweet angel forever I will be by your side"
Fly away, come back another day